Monday, December 26, 2016

Starting again. Anytime.

I want something new.
I fear becoming successful in love... But I am so doing this!
There are other areas where I still nurse a strange fear of success, worrying about the unknown, but I am tackling it as we speak.

What would it look look like if I could have my cake and eat it?

What would it feel like if the right kind of partnership appeared?

Can I have it all? The laughter, the passion, the tenderness and also the security?

Can I receive it with humbleness and gratitude, but absolutely own it?


Have you ever entertained the idea that if some of your past lovers, brief flirts, passionate romances, impossible crushes came back to the town looking for you, you would drop everything you were doing and just run after them?


I used to think no different about several men in my life.

Today, if any of my past crushes texted me they're in the town, I wouldn't drop anything for ANY ONE of them.

Clean slate sounds fun.


***

Two Updates:
1. I wrote a small Christmas update here: Creating safe space for others
2. No Merry Christmas wish from Him - I already decided a long time ago that I wouldn't write first; and if he had sent an e-mail, I wouldn't have replied.* But no need for this dilemma, since he keeps his silence. I am loving this.

*Those past tenses are still maddening for me! Not sure if I wrote it correctly at all. You get the idea.

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