All good things must come to an end….

So goes the saying - then I received the rawest, jaw-dropping, and most loving call from Rowena from NSW…

Should I stay or should I go?

I want to - need to- become a qualified sex therapist. Yep, all my life experiences have been pushing me in that direction. There is an internationally recognized Sexological Bodyworker training in several places around the world. It’s not cheap… but it is still affordable, especially if I let the Diploma of Community Services in Darwin go…

Oh, if money was not an issue, I’d already be living my life! 

Nope.

Money was not the problem when I was 21, 23, 25…. up until I decided to stay away from anything to do with sex business. Meaning - trading my beauty and spirit for cash, letting myself feel frickin' depleted.

So #Ididit got a new meaning. I abused my sexuality and isolated myself from having fulfilling relationships, sexual experiences, and getting and giving some real value back.

Money easy came and easy went as I had no dreams back then… 

Fast forward a few years, I began meeting women who were sexually assaulted and we instantly bonded. I began to learn, and I began to enrich their lives with my ex-sex worker wisdom.

That's where I sensed an urgent call for a new venture. 

*Ok, I am writing this after a couple of glasses of red wine, but it gives me the courage not to censor myself.*

I believe that many of us, men and women, are trying to come to terms with what the role of ‘sex’ is supposed to look like in our lives…

My new lover, who’s been silently grieving over his ex-girlfriend the whole time, recently updated his status with the lyrics: 'Nothing compares to you' by Sinead O'Connor.

Has our sexing been doing him wrong?

In my opinion, it seems to alleviate his pain when we're together..!

However, the body has a mind of its own. 

It is our best messenger - for example - we have an orgasm, and we may want to sob; we have an orgasm, and we may reminisce what it felt like when the person next to us was also the love of our life, not just a stranger with a sweet smile (and tits, or a dick).

The trauma lives in the body for longer than in our conscious mind... humans can talk themselves into and out of anything. But the body? The body needs a different treatment than a 'talk-therapy' (e.g. - Tantra, kinesiology, hypnotherapy, bioenergetics, etc.)

I read his status and - being the good Samaritan, I tried to leave the ego out of it and sent him a good-willed message proposing he could talk to me anytime - breakups suck, let’s get real kinda message.

But then again… he’s never really cried on my shoulder and to be brutally uncensored, I don't want to be comparable, I'd rather find a new lover. So, what was I actually doing??? Anyway.

It feels good to see I've got the power to rise above my past and make something of a real value out of it in the future.

xxx