Please excuse my English. I might not be rude (a lot), but I will occasionally write Czenglish which will look unusual to a native English speaker. I have gotten much better at your language though. I will do my best.
I am an ordinary female from the Czech Republic, currently residing in Australia. I am proud of my age, my experiences and the way I look like regardless of that! You can read more about me here.
I am confident that with my compassion and insight I can help an eighteen year old teenager, a lost girl in her mid twenties, a single mum in her thirties or a sixty year old woman feel better about themselves, their shadows or any heartbreak. That has been the case so far.
I have also helped numerous men feel better about themselves. Mentally and physically. You cannot imagine how many! But I will share about that somewhere later. Btw. if you already suspect I am a ho, then good on you. I will please your senses if you stick around.
If, however, you do think I am a ho (and from some reason you are not turned on 😜), you are welcome to leave now. No judgment, really 💋
Here's my breakthrough in 5 stages.
It is "Him" I broke up with (and He broke up with me) - but I will use the pronoun She/Her also, so you can imagine that dealing with heartbreak fits both ways. It is an individual journey, but I hope it may come handy to see how someone deals with such a peculiar life-altering event.
- The biggest breakthrough happened when I faced my fearful thought that I AM NOT WANTED anymore. This jump out of denial sucked at first, but I welcomed it with a relief. "He/She is just not so much into me!" and "Let's not waste time! Next!" For those who were the ones to facilitate a break-up, it helps to accept that the person is no longer supporting your beliefs and values and FORGIVE yourself this bold (and true) idea.
- The second stage was seeing: IT DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING. It does not mean I am a big reject and unlovable. It does not mean I will always have the SAME experience. Even if it happened a HUNDRED times in the past. Neither it means that I deserve "better". It means Nothing. The meaning you add to "He/she doesn't want me" or "They always do stuff that upsets me" - is up to you. So why would you give it painful connotations?
- The third step was knowing that breakup is not always about his or her preference. It was about MY mixed up message to the Universe/Divine/God/The world around me and my lack of integrity. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT HAPPENED. This guy or this girl were never meant to stay for longer than how long they did. They offered us a free lesson. We can be grateful for their time to teach us and at the same time pissed off because it fucking hurt like hell. Welcome to the world of dichotomies. Of dividing between right and wrong, good or bad, and heaven and hell.
- Change. Yes, I MUST CHANGE. Not him or her. That is NOT MY BUSINESS anymore. I realized my part in the breakup and I started transforming. I began taking care of my wellbeing (no pity-parties) and visualized a new lesson for myself. So, try and see the new opportunities for love everywhere around - not new lovers (you are still raw) but simple things - take up a new hobby (hot yoga rocks my world at the moment). And notice the beautiful beings around - The old lady smiling at you? It is an aspect of love. Old people don't smile, don't you know?
- I got back on track, powerful and confident again. But there were highs and lows and sometimes anger crept up too. Having a big heart and COMPASSION saves my face time after time. Understand that the people who hurt you might never change. You probably read so many times that only your attitude and your reactions to their words and actions are controllable, yet you still resist. The fact is, you can't control your man or your woman and their choices. Why would one want to worry about that anyway? Making my own choices is hard enough. People are free, and people are wild. Live and let live. Don't forget to live YOUR life. Send your ex healing prayers, love and light. FORGIVE THEM. He or she is probably still unconscious of their dysfunctional behaviors and beliefs. Bless their journey and look ahead of yours.
" Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes"
As I write this (October 2016), I am still single. I love my ex to bits, and we still talk sometimes. But I don't want him back and I really look ahead to meeting someone better suited for me. Because I am transforming myself into the person I really want to be.
Despite the occasional longing, any past obsession by my ex, what he DID, how righteous I was in my own wrongdoings, and any pain surrounding his moving on so soon, it is all a history. I try to see him in a positive light. He had always wanted me. Up until the time I blocked him, he had never tried to push me away. As opposed to my constant change of heart. He found someone else, probably because he didn't want to feel 'alone'. Jealousy had made everything much worse.
More details about this relationship & breakup are here.
Men stumble and fall, but they also immediately get up, dust off, and go on. (Onto another mistake, that's it! Haha). What a wonderful skill. This no-pause causes them to take a lifetime to learn their lessons in many, many cases out there. However, women lie on the ground for so fucking long. They wallow in their misery and throw private pity-parties in many, many cases out there. Men just jump up.
Let it be adored by us, conscious women.
Regarding my singleton, sure, I can satisfy my sexual needs every now and then, but otherwise I live on my own. I don't go on romantic walks by the sea with anyone, neither I have a jogging partner, or at least a more attentive fuckbuddy who'd cook for me and massage my back sometimes (I just have very good sex with him and then I see the nice back of his out of the door...).
I don't mind it this way at the moment. It gives me more time for myself, my hobbies, and my work. It helps me to know myself better, what my preferences in life are, and what I want to do with the one when I meet him.
This casual sex thing can work in one's favor, but in my experience not every past sex arrangement always did.
Sometimes it got frustrating, energy depleting, even depressing and lonesome.
If you think about getting a lover just to forget about your ex... ummm, I suggest you don't make it your sole purpose for entertaining yourself. It did not really work for me. Sometimes it is better than doing other numbing stuff (drinking too much), but you really want to get yourself to a good place first before finding a 'friend with benefits'.
Rori Raye recommends DATING (not even sleeping) several people at once. Why?
Read my summary of her teaching here